Oprah's domestic violence show today was the result of the Rihanna, Chris Brown debacle. She had two men who had themselves been abusers, and their wives, one of whom had been beaten so many times the husband couldn't count how many.

I don't know about anyone else, but I found these guys a bit frightening. Neither man had received any professional counseling or therapy, but through a new relationship with Christ, both felt very positive about not battering women again.

Weelll ... I personally wouldn't be willing to bet my physical well-being and maybe my life on their self-diagnosed conversion.

It had been two years since the husband had beat the wife that was present in the audience. Oprah asked her what she would do if he did it again. She answered she'd leave. She said, "He knows what he has to do as a man and a husband and a father."  She went on to say he knows he has to take responsibility for his actions ..... etc.

My response to her response is .... so what do you have to do cookie?  After all, you were the punching bag. Nobody mentioned the fact that women who allow someone to physically hurt them has issues, as well. Some counseling is in order for both parties. Now, I'm not blaming the victim, absolutely not. I'm just saying, it's not natural to let someone hurt you over and over again .... because what ... you love them?

Like I've said before - you have to think enough of yourself to KNOW you deserve better. Yes, self esteem again. That's what this is about. And, if you don't know it instinctively, you need some help getting to that realization.
 
But, what I found most frightening is that this woman is taking the chance that:

1). He'll never do it again, and
2). If he does, she'll survive    

It is difficult enough living life with hardly anyone watching, but to live it in the fishbowl of stardom must truly be rough.
 
Every little tidbit the media gets its hands on becomes fodder for the grist mills: from incidents as significant as having a drink too many in public, or getting dumped by a significant other, to those as trivial as stumbling on a step in public, can all become the next day's headlines.

So, imagine Rihanna and Chris Brown having their recent domestic violence incident becoming a matter of so much public discussion. That has to be pretty horrible.

I do however agree with Oprah that as horrible as it is, the incident presents an opportunity to discuss the subject, particularly as it relates to young women.

The problem for Rihanna isn't so much that the violence happened, but that she is taking the chance of getting back together with Chris, which means, it could happen again. So, what would make her do such a thing? I say possibly three things: self-esteem, self-esteem and self-esteem.
 
If a man banged my head against a car window, repeatedly punched me in the face, and bit me, as Chris Brown is alledged to have done to Rihanna ... I know for a fact, we couldn't even discuss a relationship until such time that he had received serious, long-term counseling/therapy, and I was convinced that he was CURED. 
     
To do otherwise suggests that although Rihanna is a star, is beautiful, talented and probably pretty well-heeled, she doesn't fully believe that she deserves a man who will be a loving, respectful friend and PROTECTOR.

If a woman understands how precious she is to our Father, nothing but the best treatment, by anyone, would be acceptable.  The saying ... "You can't love anyone unless you love yourself", is true to the extent that if you don't love yourself, you'll let any old thing into your life, and accept any kind of shabby treatment simply because you don't care enough to protect yourself.  A lack of self love means you won't instinctively gravitate toward the best and side-step the garbage. 

I really wish women would believe that we're often treated badly simply because we don't demand better.  I know it sounds simple. That's because it is!  If he doesn't treat you well, LEAVE!