In my last post, I stated that some of the extreme rections to the healthcare legislation and the current administration is a result of fear. Fear that times are achanging: fear that the country is moving into a future that doesn't perfectly mirror the past: fear that if others gain, someone must be losing. I call this irrational fear because although things are changing, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. Change is inevitable, so the battle to maintain the status quo is ultimately a losing one.

But fear is real for all of us. Some of our fears are different, some identical. Some of us are afraid of dark streets late at night (I certainly don't call that irrational); some fear tiny bugs that couldn't possibly harm us; some fear certain animals; others fear speaking in public .... and on and on.  

I think there's two kinds of fear ... positive and negative.

The positive fear is the kind that comes to our aid in certain situations as a sort of self-preservation mechanism. Some people might even call it intuition: Don't walk down that dark street after its dark; that bridge shakes too much when I go across, so I'll go the long way round; that snarling Pit Bull could mean serious trouble, cross the street. 

Then, there's negative fear. The kind that paralyzes you. Keeps you from doing something that you might really want to do, or need to do. An example for me was driving halfway across country. It was from Chicago to Boston by myself, and I was really terrified.

I hadn't been driving long. Had actually never driven beyond the city limits, talk about cross country. But it was something I wanted to do, so I controlled the fear. I acknowledged it, then put it behind me. I refused to let it consume me, or force me to change my plans. I made the drive, and really enjoyed it ... except for the time I was rerouted by some truckers to avoid an unusual Spring blizzard and ended up driving over the Alleghany Mountains. That wasn't fun.

The point is that sometimes we have to man ... or woman up, and confront what it is making us afraid. If it's a negative fear, we must confront it and not allow it to ruin something that would be a positive experience. If it's a positive fear ... listening might be a good idea.

I usually try to stay away from political discussion, but what the heck. I really feel compelled to comment on the extraordinary recent events.

It's amazing that anyone could rationally object to helping American citizens achieve adequate healthcare. The argument that healthcare reform is a big government takeover is absurd in view of Medicare, Social Security, etc. This is nothing new in terms of government stepping in to fill a void in the security and well-being of its citizens.
 
I agree with pundits that say the rage exhibited by some protesters to healthcare reform seem over the top. In short, their vitriolic reaction, seems seriously out of proportion to its cause, and that perhaps there is another reason behind these extreme responses. 

It is a fact that fear and lack of understanding is often the facilitator of hate. In this case, I believe there is a fear that life in American society is changing; a fear accompanied by a sense that a way of life is being lost. My response to that kind of fear is to point out that change is inevitable. Embrace it. Hatred and violence is hardly a rational response to a society that is moving into the future. 

On the other hand, if objection to healthcare reform really is the reason for all this negative response, then my suggestion is that a spirit of positive cooperation would go a lot further toward meeting a goal of possibly changing the legislation. After all, it is difficult to take people described as "the lunatic fringe" seriously.  

Just a thought. 

I had promised myself I would not utter one word about what I now call the American Idol debacle. Okay, I lied. I just have to weigh in on the amazing finish to the contest this year. And, by amazing finish, I mean that Chris Allen won and Adam Lambert lost.

Now, I understand that all musical tastes aren't the same, but even if you don't like rock music, Adam demonstrated that he could sing all genres of music equally well. When I heard him sing "Tracks of My Tears", a Smoky Robinson number one night, and "Play That Funky Thing White Boy" the next, both with equally incredible perfection, I knew I was hearing the individual that should walk away the winner. 

Yes, I was and am a huge fan of Adam Lambert. He is one of, if not the most exciting contestant ever to step on the American Idol stage. That he didn't win (which I suspected he wouldn't), tells me that although we have our first African American president, America is still unwilling to accept someone considered different. 

And Adam is definitely different. His style is out there: black painted fingernails, dark mascara, spiked and dyed hair, and what has been described as a confident swagger.

Second, there has been a lot of discussion about his sexual orientation. Is he, or isn't he? It's a singing contest!!!  Shouldn't that have been irrelevant? I'm a heterosexual, and I would have no difficulty buying his music. What he does in his private life is none of my business. I leave those types of judgements up to the one who's qualified to deal with them ... our Father.   

It was said that Chris Allen's minister tweeted that everyone should vote for Chris because a Christian was needed as the winner. 

So, is Adam an atheist, or an agnostic? I had never heard that. And, even if he was, doesn't it seem uncharitable for a minister to campaign so vigorously for one young man against another when they're both trying to establish themselves in a difficult industry. Besides, I'm a Christian, and I don't believe that a young man trying to realize his dreams should be punished if his religious beliefs differ from my own. A true Christian understands we're all God's children.

Then, to top it all off, we find out that AT&T stacked the deck against Adam by showing customers how to text 1 vote for Chris Allen that would count for 10.

All of this makes me very sad. It says that if you're different in this society, you're unacceptable, and will be punished, if in no other way than by non-support; which in this case was in all probability assurance of a loss.

I have nothing against Chris, and he's certainly not responsible for the actions of others, but I feel his win is tainted. 

I wish both of them well, but for Adam, I especially hope that this turn of events doesn't dim his brilliant light. I hope that he will go on and be all he has it in him to be; I hope that the desire that I sensed in him to be so much more than "ordinary" continues to burn in his belly, and that one day he will be one of this country's, and the world's biggest and brightest stars.

There was a story on one of the morning shows yesterday and again today about a dog that was hit by a car, and was being protected by a second dog. 

Today, there was more information about what had happened. Two dogs had apparently gotten out of their yard, and run off, probably to have a wild time on the town. Unfortunately before long, one of the dogs was hit by a car, and lay sprawled in the street. The second dog did not leave the injured dog's side, protecting it from cars in the street, and from police officers when they arrived on the scene and tried to help. Whenever the officers got too close, the dog would raise a big fuss. 

I simply love those policemen for not forcing the issue, but treating the situation with sensitivity. They were finally able to get to the dog, and take it for medical attention, at which time the second dog left, presumably heading home. 

Yesterday, we didn't know the relationship of the two dogs; today we discovered the dog that was hit was the mother of the dog protecting her. Doesn't that seem human? And by the way, she survived. 

This isn't the first time I've seen animals behave this way. When I was a resident of St. Thomas, I was on my way to work one morning, and passed two Iguanas in the very same situation. One had been hit by a car, and the other was sitting with it by the side of the road; only in this case, it was more of a death watch. You could see the Iguana struggling for each breath, and it was obvious it was badly hurt. It was an awful sight.

I saw other motorists looking at this poignant scene and knew I wasn't the only one to call the Humane Society to ask for help. Well, things don't work in the islands the way they do on the mainland, and when I passed late that afternoon the Iguanas were still there.  The one stricken was still struggling for each breath. I was afraid to approach them because Iguanas will fight. Their weapon is their tail. 

I went on home, but I couldn't focus on anything, so a couple of hours later, I went back to check on them. It was over. Only the one Iguana remained, and it was no longer struggling for breath. It was dead. The one that had sat with it all day had now left. It had stayed by the side of its friend or relative until the very end.
    
What more powerful demonstration that all God's creatures are viable, precious, and have feelings than these two amazing acts of love.   

Oprah's domestic violence show today was the result of the Rihanna, Chris Brown debacle. She had two men who had themselves been abusers, and their wives, one of whom had been beaten so many times the husband couldn't count how many.

I don't know about anyone else, but I found these guys a bit frightening. Neither man had received any professional counseling or therapy, but through a new relationship with Christ, both felt very positive about not battering women again.

Weelll ... I personally wouldn't be willing to bet my physical well-being and maybe my life on their self-diagnosed conversion.

It had been two years since the husband had beat the wife that was present in the audience. Oprah asked her what she would do if he did it again. She answered she'd leave. She said, "He knows what he has to do as a man and a husband and a father."  She went on to say he knows he has to take responsibility for his actions ..... etc.

My response to her response is .... so what do you have to do cookie?  After all, you were the punching bag. Nobody mentioned the fact that women who allow someone to physically hurt them has issues, as well. Some counseling is in order for both parties. Now, I'm not blaming the victim, absolutely not. I'm just saying, it's not natural to let someone hurt you over and over again .... because what ... you love them?

Like I've said before - you have to think enough of yourself to KNOW you deserve better. Yes, self esteem again. That's what this is about. And, if you don't know it instinctively, you need some help getting to that realization.
 
But, what I found most frightening is that this woman is taking the chance that:

1). He'll never do it again, and
2). If he does, she'll survive    

It is difficult enough living life with hardly anyone watching, but to live it in the fishbowl of stardom must truly be rough.
 
Every little tidbit the media gets its hands on becomes fodder for the grist mills: from incidents as significant as having a drink too many in public, or getting dumped by a significant other, to those as trivial as stumbling on a step in public, can all become the next day's headlines.

So, imagine Rihanna and Chris Brown having their recent domestic violence incident becoming a matter of so much public discussion. That has to be pretty horrible.

I do however agree with Oprah that as horrible as it is, the incident presents an opportunity to discuss the subject, particularly as it relates to young women.

The problem for Rihanna isn't so much that the violence happened, but that she is taking the chance of getting back together with Chris, which means, it could happen again. So, what would make her do such a thing? I say possibly three things: self-esteem, self-esteem and self-esteem.
 
If a man banged my head against a car window, repeatedly punched me in the face, and bit me, as Chris Brown is alledged to have done to Rihanna ... I know for a fact, we couldn't even discuss a relationship until such time that he had received serious, long-term counseling/therapy, and I was convinced that he was CURED. 
     
To do otherwise suggests that although Rihanna is a star, is beautiful, talented and probably pretty well-heeled, she doesn't fully believe that she deserves a man who will be a loving, respectful friend and PROTECTOR.

If a woman understands how precious she is to our Father, nothing but the best treatment, by anyone, would be acceptable.  The saying ... "You can't love anyone unless you love yourself", is true to the extent that if you don't love yourself, you'll let any old thing into your life, and accept any kind of shabby treatment simply because you don't care enough to protect yourself.  A lack of self love means you won't instinctively gravitate toward the best and side-step the garbage. 

I really wish women would believe that we're often treated badly simply because we don't demand better.  I know it sounds simple. That's because it is!  If he doesn't treat you well, LEAVE!